OK there is no Youth Pastor school that I know of. Any class I’ve taken on the subject of youth ministry tends to deal with the subject from a big picture frame of mind. This is good but what does a new youth pastor need to know to survive in this ministry. I do not claim to be an expert on the subject but I’ve been doing youth ministry for six years. This doesn’t sound like a lifetime but when you look at the sad reality that most youth pastors don’t last two years, I find that I’m somewhat of a veteran. That being said, I’ve compiled a few tips and methods I use to make youth ministry work for me. I hope they will help you too.
- Be real – Sure everyone starts off by telling you to be real. You don’t need to fit a certain image to work with youth. I don’t dress like a youth pastor. I wear whatever my wife lets me get out of the house in. The outward appearance is not as important as the relationships you build with the young men and woman that God put in your life to minister to. Open up to them. Don’t be afraid to share your mistakes with them. Don’t be afraid to not know an answer right away. sometimes showing them how you deal with a tough situation will help them more than just giving them the right answer.
- Be a little crazy – I know what you’re thinking. “Chuck, you just told me to be real and now you’re saying be crazy. I’m not crazy so how can I be both?” Well you can still be yourself and be crazy. What I mean by being a little crazy is don’t be afraid to make a fool of your self in the name of fun. Half of youth group conversations are centered around recapping old memories of things the group did together. Youth will want to come on the next winter youth conference at the beach if they hear the epic stories about you diving into the freezing cold water head first. Who wouldn’t want to see that?
- Have a game – At any youth event there always seems to be some down time. This can be some valuable time. Be ready with a Game that can be played by any number of people. Each youth group tends to have its own favorites. Some games need nothing at all. While some need some supplies. At a recent conference, they kicked us out of the building to setup for the next session. We found ourselves outside in the cold and everyone was looking to me for a way to stay warm. I pulled a small Frisbee made out of the same material hacky sacks are made of and shouted Ultimate Frisbee! Next thing you know we had a pretty awesome game going along with some other groups. Don’t be afraid to play along also but also keep an eye out for those who aren’t playing. Maybe they have something on their mind and this is a great time to talk while everyone else is busy.
- Bunny trails aren’t always bad – A lot of times, in the middle of a lesson, the group will go off on a tangent which is completely off topic. This could be because they have lost interest in the subject at hand and need a short break. It’s not a bad thing to let the conversation wander a little. Sometimes you find yourself dealing with an issue that the youth are actually going through. Spend some time on the issue. Let them know that their thoughts are important. If you find you are off topic and just talking about sports or pop culture bring the conversation back. The important thing to realize is that following a lesson plan is not as important as building relationships. Yes we need to teach them about Christ, but we can teach them in our actions more than with a lesson. If we are living out what we are teaching them, then our actions and our stories will teach them.
- Just hang out – Just hanging out with a young person does so much for your ministry. If you only see them during Church activities they will put you in the same category they put a teacher from school. But if you hang out with them and see movies together and play games you will build a relationship where they feel comfortable opening up to you. They rarely open up on a Sunday morning in front of all their friends. It’s those times when you are playing cards or video games that you’ll hear them say, “can I ask you a question?”
- Don’t joke too much – This is the one I struggle with the most. I love to joke. I find it helps lighten the mood when things are getting to tense. Just be careful who you are joking about. If you joke about the youth, some will laugh but others will feel attacked. You should avoid joking about anyone you are trying to minister to. Even if the person you are joking about can take a joke and they think it’s funny, others who aren’t as familiar with the group may be afraid to open up for fear they’ll be attacked. The obvious next person to joke about is yourself. the problem here is if you always joke about yourself, why would they take you seriously. I find the best way to joke is to joke about the situation someone is in rather than the person. You may even want to interchange who is in the situation in the joke. An example, two high school students and I were on a mission to get drinks in a hotel we were staying at recently. After finding no success in the hotel we opted to walk to the nearest 7-11. about half way there I noticed one of them left their shoes in the room. Instead of joking about him forgetting his shoes, we came up with this crazy plan about what we would tell someone if we were mugged. Something along the lines of “not again, they already took his shoes.” We chuckled about it all the way there and back and when I offered him my shoes I became the guy robbed of his shoes. Situational not personal
- Text is best – Today’s young people see it as a major faux pas to call someone. They feel much more comfortable texting you. I’m from a generation that thinks face to face is most personal and a phone call is a close second. Not so with this upcoming generation. So often then have texted me questions they wouldn’t ask in person. I even had a middle schooler text me once asking how to deal with the sin that gets between him and God. It was a long conversation, but worth every hand cramp. I never thought I would be texting a gospel presentation to anyone but that was the way he felt most comfortable asking the question.
I hope this list helps any one getting into youth ministry. It’s not about how old you are or how cool you are. Young people see through that and aren’t impressed with insincerity. Fortunately, I’m fairly young and pretty cool on top of everything else. I have seen less cool people do what I do.
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